Event: Mock Star Course in the Burg
Date: Saturday, March 9, 2019 – Sunday, March 10, 2019
Location: Bar Louie, Levis Commons
10 PAX: Geppetto,
Bourbon, Huckleberry, Houdini, Billy Bob, Casper, Bambi, MudVayne, Rhonda,
TuPac
Q: Jimmy Dean
At promptly 9pm, YHC handed out maps with the wayward points to the PAX (list is below). They immediately set out to plot a route, with those who were veterans of star courses (mock or otherwise) helping the noobies figure it out. A route was relatively quickly determined as the map was familiar to half of the men. The group set out in the pouring rain after about 15 minutes of mapping. After leaving Bar Louie, we headed across the interstate and towards the Perrysburg Municipal Park.
The rain was at its
worst at the beginning of the event, with winds so fierce that Bourbon later
recalled that he felt personally violated by it. Though we’re not entirely sure
what he meant by it, other guys in the PAX agreed with him. Where there is no
lack of rain, there is no lack of puddles as well, and many guys had wet feet
pretty much from the get go.
After the park, YHC
thought it would be fun to require a picture at The Fortress at the 3rd hole on
the disc golf course. This led to walking across a good chunk of the course
where we once again got to experience cold water entering our shoes. Once we
got to the cement starting point for it, we were grateful for being able to
stand on dryer ground.
From the Fortress,
the route next took us to another AO in the Burg, The Wall. After snapping a
quick pic there, we took off to walk along the river. Bad idea. Whose idea was
it anyway? Tupac, of course. This wouldn’t be the first time he suggested a bad
route. This also wouldn’t be the first time we followed him down a bad route.
Smh…
After traversing
across the extremely soggy ground, our group split up with some heading down to
walk along the path by the river, and the smart PAX walking up and around on
the relatively drier pavement. We learned quickly that keeping our feet out of
as much water as possible was ideal.
We regrouped on the
Burg side of the bridge before crossing as one big group. The next stretch took
us to Maumee High School, and along the way we saw many of Maumee’s finest. One
even circled back around to check us out a second time. Even though we looked
quite nefarious and had some questionable thugs, none stopped us the entire
night. We finally arrived at Maumee High School and fatigue started to kick in
for some of the guys.
It was during this
stretch to MHS that Bambi had to depart early, while we carried on as a group
of 10. A few of the noobies began to realize that they had overpacked, either
with weight, gear or both. In a brief AAR later that weekend, they were asking
for tips on how to pack better and what gear they should buy for their GORUCK
event later this year. The seasoned Stars were happy to oblige.
From MHS, we set
off to our farthest point away from the endex, The Field of Dreams. The weather
had let up, and then not, and then let up again. And then not. Such was the
pattern for all but the last hour or two of the night. The stretch over to the
FoD was mainly on pavement and gave our shoes a chance to drain without much
more coming in.
On the way to FoD,
there was talk of stopping by Woodstock’s house to see what he was up to, but
upon reflecting on the fact that he’s married with kids, determined that this
course of action wouldn’t be wise. Upon arriving, we took a bit of a longer
break and gave guys a chance to eat, rest up and use whatever facilities were
available. YHC went around and checked on every single man to make sure he was
good to continue. The next stretch would be the longest of the night, and made
even more complicated by following Tupac once we got close to the Necropolis.
Along the way,
music could be heard and Billy Bob crooned over us as we went along. YHC
believed it to be his coping mechanism to help him embrace the suck. Geppetto
and Casper started lagging behind, learning the importance of packing
correctly. Major props to them for sticking it out!
Once we got back
over the river, we made our way to the Necropolis where Bourbon suggested we
could go around on pavement or go through it. It was decided to go through it,
which led to more rucking through wet grass, puddles, and other enjoyable
things like slipper hills.
From the
Necropolis, we headed quickly over to the Gauntlet where light joking about
doing a Murph ensued. We quickly moved on before we could determine the
seriousness of the suggestion.
Next up was Perrsyburg
High School, and Huckleberry came in handy as he led this leg for us and shaved
off a couple tenths of a mile by going through some secret backdoor ninja
route. None of us knew where he was leading us, but we trusted him as anyone
should their elders. He came through with flying colors and we snapped our pic
near the school sign.
Last up was returning to Bar Louie. On the last leg was conversation about whether or not to post in Sylvania on Sunday morning. The only fool was Tupac, who had literally gotten back from California Saturday afternoon, just hours before the Mock Star Course began. Spirits began to rebound as we neared the endex, with Billy Bob sprinting towards the end. Smiles all around with completing something this awesome.
16.5 miles and 5 hours 40 minutes of embracing the suck so we could become better men. Aye!
Start/Endex:
- Bar Louie Levis – 4105 Levis
Commons Blvd, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture in front of restaurant
(both times)
Wayward Points:
- Riverside Park – 245 W Front St, Perrysburg,
OH 43551
- Picture at bottom of ramp
- Rivercrest Park – 13761 Eckel
Junction Rd, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Woodlands Park – 429 E Boundary
St, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture at disc golf hole 3
- Rolf Park – 2115 Cass Rd, Maumee,
OH 43537
- Fort Meigs – 29100 W Indiana Ave,
Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture at circle between parking
lots
- Perrysburg Municipal Park – 945
Elm St, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Perrysburg High School – 13385
Roachton Rd, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Maumee High School – 1147 Saco St,
Maumee, OH 43537
Route Optimizer: www.routexl.com
