Event: Mock Star Course in the Burg
Date: Saturday, March 9, 2019 – Sunday, March 10, 2019
Location: Bar Louie, Levis Commons
10 PAX: Geppetto, Bourbon, Huckleberry, Houdini, Billy Bob, Casper, Bambi, MudVayne, Rhonda, TuPac
Q: Jimmy Dean
At promptly 9pm, YHC handed out maps with the wayward points to the PAX (list is below). They immediately set out to plot a route, with those who were veterans of star courses (mock or otherwise) helping the noobies figure it out. A route was relatively quickly determined as the map was familiar to half of the men. The group set out in the pouring rain after about 15 minutes of mapping. After leaving Bar Louie, we headed across the interstate and towards the Perrysburg Municipal Park.
The rain was at its worst at the beginning of the event, with winds so fierce that Bourbon later recalled that he felt personally violated by it. Though we’re not entirely sure what he meant by it, other guys in the PAX agreed with him. Where there is no lack of rain, there is no lack of puddles as well, and many guys had wet feet pretty much from the get go.
After the park, YHC thought it would be fun to require a picture at The Fortress at the 3rd hole on the disc golf course. This led to walking across a good chunk of the course where we once again got to experience cold water entering our shoes. Once we got to the cement starting point for it, we were grateful for being able to stand on dryer ground.
From the Fortress, the route next took us to another AO in the Burg, The Wall. After snapping a quick pic there, we took off to walk along the river. Bad idea. Whose idea was it anyway? Tupac, of course. This wouldn’t be the first time he suggested a bad route. This also wouldn’t be the first time we followed him down a bad route. Smh…
After traversing across the extremely soggy ground, our group split up with some heading down to walk along the path by the river, and the smart PAX walking up and around on the relatively drier pavement. We learned quickly that keeping our feet out of as much water as possible was ideal.
We regrouped on the Burg side of the bridge before crossing as one big group. The next stretch took us to Maumee High School, and along the way we saw many of Maumee’s finest. One even circled back around to check us out a second time. Even though we looked quite nefarious and had some questionable thugs, none stopped us the entire night. We finally arrived at Maumee High School and fatigue started to kick in for some of the guys.
It was during this stretch to MHS that Bambi had to depart early, while we carried on as a group of 10. A few of the noobies began to realize that they had overpacked, either with weight, gear or both. In a brief AAR later that weekend, they were asking for tips on how to pack better and what gear they should buy for their GORUCK event later this year. The seasoned Stars were happy to oblige.
From MHS, we set off to our farthest point away from the endex, The Field of Dreams. The weather had let up, and then not, and then let up again. And then not. Such was the pattern for all but the last hour or two of the night. The stretch over to the FoD was mainly on pavement and gave our shoes a chance to drain without much more coming in.
On the way to FoD, there was talk of stopping by Woodstock’s house to see what he was up to, but upon reflecting on the fact that he’s married with kids, determined that this course of action wouldn’t be wise. Upon arriving, we took a bit of a longer break and gave guys a chance to eat, rest up and use whatever facilities were available. YHC went around and checked on every single man to make sure he was good to continue. The next stretch would be the longest of the night, and made even more complicated by following Tupac once we got close to the Necropolis.
Along the way, music could be heard and Billy Bob crooned over us as we went along. YHC believed it to be his coping mechanism to help him embrace the suck. Geppetto and Casper started lagging behind, learning the importance of packing correctly. Major props to them for sticking it out!
Once we got back over the river, we made our way to the Necropolis where Bourbon suggested we could go around on pavement or go through it. It was decided to go through it, which led to more rucking through wet grass, puddles, and other enjoyable things like slipper hills.
From the Necropolis, we headed quickly over to the Gauntlet where light joking about doing a Murph ensued. We quickly moved on before we could determine the seriousness of the suggestion.
Next up was Perrsyburg High School, and Huckleberry came in handy as he led this leg for us and shaved off a couple tenths of a mile by going through some secret backdoor ninja route. None of us knew where he was leading us, but we trusted him as anyone should their elders. He came through with flying colors and we snapped our pic near the school sign.
Last up was returning to Bar Louie. On the last leg was conversation about whether or not to post in Sylvania on Sunday morning. The only fool was Tupac, who had literally gotten back from California Saturday afternoon, just hours before the Mock Star Course began. Spirits began to rebound as we neared the endex, with Billy Bob sprinting towards the end. Smiles all around with completing something this awesome.
16.5 miles and 5 hours 40 minutes of embracing the suck so we could become better men. Aye!
- Bar Louie Levis – 4105 Levis
Commons Blvd, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture in front of restaurant
- Picture in front of restaurant (both times)
- Riverside Park – 245 W Front St, Perrysburg,
- Picture at bottom of ramp
- Rivercrest Park – 13761 Eckel
Junction Rd, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture at pull-up bars
- Woodlands Park – 429 E Boundary
St, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture at disc golf hole 3
- Rolf Park – 2115 Cass Rd, Maumee,
- Picture at main gate
- Fort Meigs – 29100 W Indiana Ave,
Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture at circle between parking lots
- Perrysburg Municipal Park – 945
Elm St, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture by playground
- Perrysburg High School – 13385
Roachton Rd, Perrysburg, OH 43551
- Picture by sign
- Maumee High School – 1147 Saco St,
Maumee, OH 43537
- Picture by sign
Route Optimizer: www.routexl.com